Yay!

Scotty is home, Yay!

I miss Scotty. G'nite.

Today was an overall pretty good day. I tried on a pair of pants that I could not get into at all last year -- and they were loose. I bought them the year before and they were tight even then! That is progress right there. I posted this elsewhere but as of last week -- Having starting bootcamp July 08 -I am down 18lbs and down 6% overall bodyfat. It goes to show you that hard work and commitment do pay off but it doesn't happen overnight. I have had to work hard but man it feels good to see the fruits of my labor.

The kids have been really great. Mornings, while not perfect, have been fairly smooth and we have gotten out of the house on time. Hannah helped me unload and load the dishwasher this evening before Timmy, the babysitter came! That was a huge help to me. Timmy came over and I went to Gold's Gym. I ran 3.2 miles, lifted and did some squats/lunges and pushups. I ended with 10 grueling minutes on the stairclimber.

I miss Scotty. G'nite.

Thoughts of someone close...

We went to back to school night this week. Hannah is doing a great job in her class so far and her teacher - Mrs. White -seems very kind and smart. When that was over, Scott and I went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, we just decided we had a babysitter - might as well take advantage of it. We were talking and Scotty said something that has stuck with me...I don't remember the context of it but he said he was pretty sure that the cancer will come back in some way, in some form, sometime down the road. It's not based on any fact. It's one of those things I have mentioned before -- cancer changes you. It changes the way you think. It's insidious and seeps into everyday talk. I do not believe the cancer will come back, period.

Hannah is making some new friends and has been invited to a birthday party of some boy in her class. That makes me happy. She has the ability to go into a situation where she knows few people and manage to make some new friends. I am proud of her.

Thankful

So I have this running joke experience. Every time I go somewhere - really anywhere -and I run into someone who knows both Scott and I, inevitably the conversation always goes to "how wonderful Scotty is" or "i like that Scotty", or your husband is one of the kindest guys". Even before the dreaded C.

I went to the dr today for a check in and sure enough we spent half the appointment - HALF the APPOINTMENT PEOPLE!! - talking about Scotty. How great he is, what a great demeanor he has, does he ever get mad. Great, kind - you get the idea.

Then I head to Target to fill a script said Dr wrote for me. The pharmacy assistant says to me "how's your husband" "i just love your husband, he is so nice and always in a great mood" "he is one of my favorites".

Ok, I get it. He is great, he is wonderful, he is kind, he has a very even keeled demeanor.


He really is that great and I am thankful for our life together.

Scotty's story in his own words

Scott had to write something up for the recent fundraiser that AOL did for the American Cancer Society -- this is the first time I got to read it..and thought I would share it here:

Personal Story: Scotty Hoaglund

By Scotty Hoaglund

In the summer of 2008, my worst fears were confirmed when the pathology from a biopsy taken from a mass in my colon during a colonoscopy said I had colorectal cancer. I was very scared, depressed and didn't want to talk about it at the time. My wife and I told our close friends, our team members at work and our family members. All were in shock. We made a decision that we were going to remain positive and kick this cancer's butt using modern medicine, the power of positive thinking (be it prayer or whatever you want to label it) and humor.

I had surgery to remove the mass which was successful, and the doctors determined that the cancer had not spread to other organs or lymph nodes. While I was recovering from surgery, I was referred to a clinical trial at Georgetown Hospital where I was accepted and randomized into a test to receive a drug that is not yet approved for use on stage 2 patients like myself. I have completed 14 sessions of chemo treatment over the last seven months and have ten more sessions to go, but who is counting. I have made it through the worst and I am getting better everyday.

Getting through the treatments has been extremely difficult mentally and physically, and it has made me realize how important friends and family are. My wife Stephanie has been a Wonder Woman through this all by taking me to treatments, keeping the household running, dealing with the kids, and millions of other things I may not even know about. My wonderful kids, Hannah and Nate, are a joy and reminder of what we are fighting for. Our amazing friends, who we consider family, help us with household chores, watch the kids when needed and would do anything to help us out.

Then there is my AOL family. Over the past 14 plus years of my career here at AOL, I have met some of the smartest, most funny and most giving people on Earth. It is very comforting to know that I have the support of my management, team and coworkers for the biggest fight of my life, and for that I am extremely thankful.

Scott and Mercedes at GT Hospital

NYE 2008

Scotty and I on NYE 2008 -- we are so ready for the new year!

Just goes to show you...

So today, it hit me kinda hard on my way home from bootcamp. I was working out and just saying to one of my co-work-outers how its frustrating how I don't seem to have a lot of stamina while working out after all this time. She said - you have a sick husband, 2 small kids, a house, and work full time - how can you possibly have excess energy. She's right but I never thought about it like that.

On the way home I was thinking..man what a difference a year makes. Last year - we were just enjoying our lives, no "real" worries. Now, look at us: Cancer. Just goes to show you, you never know what your life will bring. It's daunting to think about at times.

Tonite we are heading to our friends the Frescholtz's for the 2nd annual new year's eve celebration. Should be fun, but Scott needs to get in a nap in order to make it to midnight. I am looking forward to spending time with good friends tonite. We need to get into next year on a good note.

Here's to a great 2009! Happy New Year Everyone!

Birthday weekend.

We had a great time celebrating Scotty's birthday. His Aunt/Unc and cousins came down for the afternoon and we went to lunch and then hung out and had some pie. Then we were settling in for the night and we got a surprise phone call from some friends of ours asking if they could come over. It was so out of the norm, that we said SURE! They came over with champagne and wine in hand and we toasted his bday then decided to head over to Clydes since my mom is in town. We had the best time just laughing and talking. Even though Scott was worn out, it was so worth it for everyone!

Saturday, Scott had to rest a lot to make up for the night before. Later on, Scott and I decided to go see a movie and dinner. Scott really didn't feel so well right after dinner and there were moments when I thought we may not make it through the movie but he was a trooper and then we hurried home so he could rest.

Today was a mixed bag. The weather was in the 70s if you can believe it! He was stir crazy so we went out for a bit to do errands and then he spent a lot of time in bed resting. His stomach has been upsetting him and he is just generally worn out. I can definitely tell that the chemo is having more of an effect on him as time goes on. One new side effect I noticed this week - he seems to have dark marks all over his back. I wrote to Dr M and he said it could be from the chemo and he wants to look at it during our next visit.

I can tell he is getting frustrated with feeling so bad all the time. He told me it's even more frustrating to know if he didn't get this chemo, he would be feeling fine right now. I am sure it's also knowing that even having chemo is no guarantee the cancer won't come back. I prefer to focus on the positive stats that I have seen and knowing that colon cancer is one of the most researched and successful recovery cancers. I don't think I can handle thinking about the other side of it to be honest.

And He's Off...

So Scott decided to go to Vegas and meet up with his AZ friend Jon H. Both the Dr and I thought it was a great idea. Get out of your comfort zone and have some fun with a good friend he hasn't seen in a while. He was so apprehensive about it though. One thing that you don't get used is the personality shift that happens with cancer.

The PC (pre-cancer) Scott would have not even hesitated to go -- he would be gone faster than I could say gone. This new Scott, hemmed and hawed about it. Don't get me wrong, I understand the concerns -- what if he starts to feel like crap, what if he is too tired to do anything, what if something happens, what if... -- This is the good weekend so I think he will be fine. He goes in for another chemo session on Tuesday. Sometimes you just need a break. We have been dealing with this since July with no "break" -- a lot of stress and worry.

I am going to try to go to my brother, David's, engagement party in January out in SF. I have to coordinate with my friends though to ensure that Scott has some help and support while I am gone which will be the one logistical thing I will have to deal with pre trip. It's important that i go. All the Gettinger kids will be there. They were all together for Thanksgiving minus me, so I think this time I will complete the Get-net.

This weekend we have so much planned. Hannah and Maya have a bday party at Tysons's corner and Nate is heading over to Jacob's house during that. On Sunday, the kids have Hebrew school, then Nate is headed over to Ryan's house for fun and then a party. So the plan for the weekend is to keep them busy!